in Horror Movie Reviews

Hatchet 4: Victor Crowley Review

Hatchet 4: Victor Crowley
I have just watched the latest instalment in the Hatchet series, namely Hatchet 4: Victor Crowley. I have to say that this movie is, by far, the worst one yet.

I just feel as if I have wasted my money on this utter piece of garbage. Even Kane Hodder’s performance as the titular bloodthirsty backwoods killer can’t save this truly awful film from plummeting downhill.

The movie starts off promising enough, with Crowley dispatching a female victim in the Louisiana swamps in his usual gore-soaked fashion. But after this hit-the-ground-running opening, I am afraid that the film soon slows down to a most tedious, boring extent. It is a good 40 to 45 minutes before we see any more killings.

What especially ruined the movie for me was the way the horror aspect was diluted by an over-injection of comedic elements (so reminiscent of the way they ruined the Freddy Krueger films with silly wisecracks). I mean, come ON. Were these attempts at humour REALLY meant to be facetious and entertaining? Well, if they were, then I certainly didn’t find them funny or entertaining at all. If anything, I found them totally annoying, and quite unnecessary in this kind of horror film.

And the characters themselves were equally irritating, all of them being just bland stereotypes, and all so unlikeable that there wasn’t one single one of them I could root for. And once the characters prove shallow and uninteresting, then I am afraid I soon lose interest in a movie.

I hated the ridiculous, formulaic storyline too, which basically concerned the sole survivor of the last Hatchet movie, Andrew Yong (Parry Shen), going around plugging his book, which tells the story of how he survived the Crowley Massacre. However, playing the goody-goody-hero type aside, he is still believed by some people to have committed the murders himself. But what a bloody fool he turns out to be, because he allows himself to be tempted, by a huge offer of money, to return to the scene of the hellish slaughter (they ALWAYS do it in horror movies, don’t they?) and, in so doing, running the risk of re-encountering the monstrous Victor Crowley.

As it turns out, Yong does indeed come face to face with the notorious Bayou killer again, for the private plane in which he is travelling with his entourage quite conveniently – or inconveniently, if you spare a thought for all the poor sods who end being Crowley fodder – crash lands in the swamp. Peppered between Crowley’s killings are moments of incessant, interminable moaning and bickering, as the plane-trapped victims try to find a way out of their sitting-duck situation.

I don’t want to go on too much longer about this movie, as I don’t even think it’s worth any more space on my site. Suffice to say that in view of the truly awful storyline of this film, as well as the cardboard cutout characters and unimaginative plot, I think it’s time that Victor Crowley buried the hatchet – for good.

You can buy Hatchet 4: Victor Crowley by clicking on the movie’s image link above this article.

Alan Toner
www.alantoner.com